Does Anyone Else Miss Getting Ready Together?
Forget the going out part, it's all about the getting ready together
Article originally published on Off Chance
It’s the kind of glorious spring day that makes me feel like I’m living in a novel. The sky is pure blue, and the sunshine pours through the open window, gently warming my skin. I think I can hear the birds singing, but that can’t be, as the music inside is so loud I can feel the rhythm pulsing through my veins, and I wonder if my heart beat is in tune with the beat.
My sisters, my cousin, and I, have rented an Airbnb for my cousin’s wedding. Everyone has set up their makeup station, all reflective surfaces in use, and I can see piles of makeup products. It’s shocking to behold but we have enough products to replicate a large makeup stand. When I think of Avon cosmetics founder Gerry Anderson’s beauty bunker, this is what I imagine it to be, but mine comes with people too, beauty lovers of course.
I remember a time when getting ready in a group was the main event; forget going out — the magic was in those few hours beforehand. The camaraderie, the subtle care taken over each woman’s signature look, back combing one another’s hair, and the charge of excitement fueling the event. I can’t place the last time I was doing the same, probably another wedding. I’m sad that it’s not a part of my regular routine anymore. I miss it. Even more so now as we move towards spending less time with friends. The American Time Use Survey, found that prior to 2013 people spent up to 7 hours per week with friends, but by 2021 time spent with friends have nearly halved.
The dining table is adorned with an assortment of snacks, beverages, and beauty products. It's unhygienic, but at this point, no one cares. The cadence of the music and watching my family’s IRL beauty routines has me in a trance. In this moment, I’m content, fulfilled and could happily skip the main event - sorry cousin. I’m broken out of my dreamy state, by a cacophony of piercing alarms, the hair straighteners have set off the smoke alarms, for the fifth time, not that I’m counting. “Open the windows” my sister screams from the upstairs bedroom, laced with a snakiness that can only be conjured by a younger sister as she threatens to unravel what we’ve created. Alas in true sibling fashion, it’s a mere blip, and now they’re feeding each other small bites of the gooeiest brownie Manchester has to offer.
Maybe it’s because I come from a large family but I’ve always preferred to get ready with others. It’s not the noise and buzz, because even in the silence, with the only noise coming from our utensils, it’s the same. I feel blessed to have not grown up with the pressure of social media. As beauty culture becomes increasingly tainted by desires of digital success, every opportunity is an opportunity for content creation. Whether it’s a makeup tutorial or a get ready with me, social media has forever altered beauty routines, transforming beauty culture and the industry as we once knew it. It’s now more geared towards a share and create model, rather than enjoying the processes of beauty. As I write this, the search term “makeup tutorial” has over 17.3 million posts. “I always put on a makeup video before getting ready, it means that even though I am alone, I can sort of recreate that feeling of others around me getting ready with me” Sabrina Ahmed offers up but admits that “it’s hard to replicate the real thing.” Since the pandemic, we’ve become equipped with generating that feeling of being around others via our devices, from online hangouts to Zoom movie nights. Slowly as the pandemic becomes a thing of the past, have our new habits of survival become a permanent fixture in our daily lives?
A major enticement of digital beauty content is in the humanness of the videos. There’s a sense of intimacy established between creator and viewer, like catching up with a friend, but it’s come at a cost. The rise of digital beauty content means the expectations of our makeup skills are at a much higher standard as the majority of beauty content masquerades as beauty education. Without meaning to be contrary, I miss not knowing how to contour my face like a professional. The reality of beauty and picture perfect beauty is becoming warped, it’s game face day everyday. Is it any wonder that 10 year olds are swarming the aisles of Sephora and are in the running for the top spending age group?
Social media has not only distorted our perception of what our faces should look like but it has impacted the way we carry out traditional beauty routines. To be getting ready together as a group, is to hold space for one another and turn down the volume of social expectations. For some, beauty and its ritual are nothing more than frivolous pursuits, but Pamela Church Gibson, reader in cultural and historical studies highlights grooming as a bonding activity between women in her research. It’s clear, that real life human interactions as a part of our daily routines, including beauty routines hold significant weight in caring for our mental health.
“I remember, we always got ready together, taking over the living room as our battlefield. It’s not often that we get together before a big night out or occasions anymore, I don’t really have a reason, maybe it’s the pressure of looking good. With so much content on how to perfect our beauty routines, it has sucked the fun out of getting ready” says investment banker, Mary Baker.
I’m nearly done, but the lip liner my cousin borrowed is not back in my possession, and of course she can’t remember where she last had it. “We’re going to be late, everyone down now” orders my sister, from the door. But I can’t leave without my lip liner. Eventually I find it squished neatly between two cushions on the sofa. Suddenly it seems that I’ve mastered the skill of lining my lips without a mirror, and I marvel at my new ability to slip on heels whist going down a flight of stairs. As we all stand united by the exit, looking our very best, I try to mentally capture the memory of us all together in this way, to cherish forever. My sister-slash-designated-driver is ushering us out, and with a loud slam of the door, our beauty utopia is a thing of the past.