I Like Makeup A LOT. But Am I Over Wearing It?
I am in my no makeup, actual no makeup era
I’ve just got back from a brand event, and two things struck me. Firstly, I'm pretty sure this is the first time I’ve worn makeup this year, and secondly, taking makeup off is a drag. For someone who works in the beauty industry and has access to an extravagant amount of beauty products, something isn't adding up – as they say, the maths isn’t mathing. As of today, in my personal makeup stash, I have nine base products, including foundations, skin tints, and BB creams. I have over 12 cream blushes and six powder blushes, four bronzers and five contour products, and eight eyeshadow products, including palettes. I also have a pot full of lip liners, and I can’t even begin to count how many lipsticks, lip stains, and lipglosses I own. One thing is for certain, I am not getting my cost per wear out of my products.
I'm not sure when it happened, or maybe it was always like this and I just hadn't realised it. I love beauty products – I enjoy talking about them, playing around with swatches, learning about new innovative technologies and formulas, and admiring pretty packaging. But there's something about makeup on my face, particularly my face, that doesn’t quite sit right with me.
It’s definitely not the process; I quite enjoy the application process, the getting ready part (so much so I wrote about it – you can read that here). From searching for inspiration to being surrounded by products, that aspect brings me joy. It's the end result that doesn’t feel right for me. My sisters hate me for this; I typically am always the first to get ready but somehow end up being the last to finish. You see, I am never satisfied with my makeup look. I end up washing it completely off and starting again, only to dislike it again. Then I go in with moisturiser on top – yes, on top – to soften the look, basically rub off most of the makeup in the process, to get it as bare as I can get away with.
Could it be my makeup skills? I am certainly no makeup artist, but it’s something more. I feel so unlike myself with makeup, especially heavy makeup. It makes me feel like an unwelcome stranger in my own body. I have never enjoyed the way makeup sits on my face. In the era of that cool, model-off-duty Glossier look, I thought I had found a look that I could get on board with. And it worked for me for a long time. More recently, though, I have taken a huge step back from makeup. I have gone from the no makeup look to the real no makeup, not even a scrap. The no makeup makeup, has always been a fad, it’s quite deceitful, there is actually a lot of makeup and skill involved.
Is it because I have not worn makeup in so long? Even before this year, I was only wearing makeup when I was going out-out – and I can tell you, I wasn't going out-out much. Women are expected to have some sort of relationship with beauty, and especially more so as a beauty journalist. People are surprised that I barely wear any makeup. But it’s complex. Society places significant pressure on women to look and behave a certain way, to meet ideals that are often unattainable yet portrayed as the norms we should strive for. Such expectations create a constant undercurrent of scrutiny, fostering feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt among individuals, specifically women. Moreover, these standards often prioritise a narrow definition of beauty, marginalising individuals who fall outside conventional norms.
I often feel quite guilty; the beauty industry is complicit in building the foundations for these standards and then imposing them on millions of girls and women. By endorsing specific aesthetics and trends, we inadvertently propagate a singular concept of beauty, one that excludes many from feeling truly represented or celebrated.
I have a lot of unlearning to do; could this be part of that process? Is it my own way of revolting against the pressures, or is it a way to rid myself of the shame and guilt of my involvement in the system? Or could it just be that I want to feel good about myself and present an authentic version of myself? Definitely the latter – and plus, I am incredibly lazy when it comes to my own beauty routines. It’s a common phenomenon; beauty is my work, by the time I clock off, I want nothing to do with it.
I don’t really know where I am going with this. As the beauty climate stands today, everything has to be made into a statement, a trend. I guess I am trying to figure out my personal relationship with makeup, and it’s probably reflective of my perception of myself and how I want to be perceived, but that just seems too deep to get into right now. I have noticed a trend of people forgoing makeup and opting for that bare-faced look, which is a pleasant turn of events, especially as the dominant narrative in the beauty world is concerned with how we can utilise makeup to perfect our look or how we can emulate the latest trend to fit into what society deems to be the look of the moment, be it the mob wife or the strawberry girl makeup – honestly, it’s getting out of hand, right?
This is not me saying I’ll never wear makeup again, because I probably will. And it’s not me saying I don’t like makeup products, because I clearly do – so much so that I have chosen to pursue a career out of it. But for now, I found unexpected joy in going bare faced, in communication without the excess fluff of makeup products to adorn my narrative. So I’m giving the no makeup thing a go.
I related to this, but for a different reason. I used to wear makeup everyday to the point where I didn’t feel as pretty or as myself without it. I stopped wearing makeup most days and had to redefine my relationship with it. Instead of “fixing” myself, I see makeup more as an art. It helps with me feeling good under my makeup if it isn’t perfect. I’m partaking in an art form, just on my own face instead. I’ve found this makes the relationship more healthy. I’m curious to see where your relationship with makeup ends up going!
I think the one thing I found refreshing (if I can use that word) about Covid lockdown was reevaluating how much effort I wanted to put into makeup and hair when we all reemerged.
I stopped blow drying my hair for good, for example, and let it frizz if it's going to frizz. I only wore lip balm, and no foundation, when I was masking. I became more interested in what type of eyeliner I was using (needs to be gel now) because that's what was visible above the mask. But I am back to foundation at work, and glosses have replaced lipstick for me (still looking for the Holy Grail pigmented gloss or oil, the Black Honey gloss from Clinique is close).